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How Fate Brought Us Together

How Fate Brought Us Together

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My hubby and I just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. We don’t have a perfect marriage and I am not going to scream out to the world about how perfect everything is. I don’t think there is such a thing as a perfect marriage.

However, we are happy. We have our usual ups and downs and with a blended family it is that much more difficult to keep things in order all the time. One thing I am certain about is that I trust my hubby implicitly, this is something I never had before.  When go through a whole lot of trials in life you learn to appreciate all the little things. The things that truly matter.

I must admit I am not a materialistic person, happiness means more to me than any amount of diamonds in the world. Our anniversary was special just knowing that I have a man that’s committed to me and our family and I have his unwavering support. 

How time flies by, we’ve been married for 13 years. Seems like it was just yesterday that we tied the knot. I have to share our little story. Before I met him I never believed that much in fate. But I am now convinced. So often we wonder if fate really plays a role in bringing people together, I can tell you for sure it is definitely that, fate! 

When I first started my blog I wanted to share my life’s journey (I believe there are so many women that need a little inspiration) together with my favorite recipes but it all became too much. I am no Saint but if I can give someone somewhere a little hope that’s enough for me.

I decided to stick to food, I know some of you will agree as not everyone wants to listen to my stories…haha! I am also introducing my hubby to you today. His first picture on my blog, don’t think he’s going to be too chuffed. What he doesn’t know can’t hurt, can it…haha!

As a young lady I was somewhat of a rebel, I defied everything my dad said. I felt he was far too overprotective so I always did the opposite of what he wanted me to do. The joys of having kids…Lol! I know all about it now that I am a mom. So I decided to get married at the age of 19. I thought it was love but clearly I was wrong. It was not a great marriage and I was also physically abused.

Whilst I was still married to my abusive partner I worked in Corporate. One day I decided I needed a change so I applied for a new job and so did my current husband. He studied law and didn’t want to practice so he decided to also apply for a job at the same company. The irony was that we started work together on the same day and were introduced to all our collegues together. Little did I know that this same man was going to be my husband one day.

I have a vivid memory of seeing him the first time and thinking “he really has no dress sense” and he looked somewhat nerdy. As I got to know him over the years I realised it wasn’t at all about his dress sense. It was all about the personality, the kindness, the respect, being humble and caring.

When I started my new job I wasn’t given a warm welcome by my female colleagues, apparently I looked like a snob. God knows how they came to that conclusion. If you’re Indian you would know we are the most judgemental people on the planet. Don’t shoot me for this, but we know it’s the truth…Lol! So I was left with no choice but to befriend my 3 male colleagues and we became best of friends. My hubby was part of that clique too. He became my best friend and confidante as we shared the same office and he was easy to talk to. 

After years of abuse I one day found the courage to walk away. Trust me I tried many times during the 10 years but walking away is not as easy as people think it is. Only a person subjected to an abusive relationship would know just how challenging it is to walk away.

I saw an astrologer after my divorce (I’m just curious like that) and he told me I was going to marry a work colleague, only I didn’t know that it was going to become a reality or who it was going to be.  I honestly thought it was a lie and I assumed if it was the truth there was definitely some new hunk that was going to be recruited…Lol!

A year after my divorce my best friend asked me out on a date. Wasn’t something I expected and I had no interest in him whatsoever. However, I trusted him and I knew the kind of character he was. So I agreed. As they say the rest is history. Five years later we got married, after loads of trials and tribulations. Loads of judgement from my Indian work colleagues. Because as Indians we judge. A divorcee is not allowed to marry a single, eligible bachelor because she’s just not good enough. I was called lots of names and probably cursed a lot. But I survived it all.

All I can say is that no matter how much people judge do what’s best for you. We are proof that our relationship has survived against all odds. One post is not enough, I could write a book. So if you ever wonder if fate plays a role in our lives, that’s a definite YES.

I know so many women write to me telling me that I give them hope when they read my little posts on Facebook and Instagram. They are hopeful that their lives too will improve after their struggles. I do believe it will, I am proof of that!

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Iris Sedman

Tuesday 19th of October 2021

Dear Remarkable Courageous honest to goodness Lorraine Truly a person that’s humble honest and down to earth. Your recipes, your personality all imbibe a simple but superwoman in her truest form. Thank you for always sharing everything that is good🙏🏼.

Lorraine

Friday 22nd of October 2021

Thank you so much dear Iris. I always appreciate your kindness and support:-)

Marienita Nell

Wednesday 14th of July 2021

Your story is certainly inspirational, that is for sure. Just like you, I love thyme and I met my husband at work at corporate too. It was the opposite though as he was the one divorced but because he was white I faced judgement too. Sometimes I feel as Indians we are subjected to it from birth. While I may never have experienced the kind of abuse you have been dealt with. I can say you are a breath of fresh air. Like my sister says "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger - and strength to you for the experiences you have endured. I would have considered myself a good cook however experience goes out the window when you have a husband that does all the cooking - I cooked once maybe twice a year (yes you read right!). After almost 10 years of marriage, I am now re-venturing the kitchen (previous known as husbands domain). so after cooking twice in as many weeks I am now attempting my third dish (samp and beans with lamb curry) and I needed a refresher so I consulted Mr Google - this search brought me to your site. I hope to find more inspiration as I definitely intend on being a regular visitor.

Lorraine

Friday 23rd of July 2021

Thank you so much for your kind words Marienita. Wishing you all the happiness in the world and hope you enjoy your time in the kitchen:-)

Sue Naicker

Thursday 8th of July 2021

hello there Lorraine....glad i stumbled on to your site.... what an interesting compilation of recipes...i love the simplicity of your writing and the easy recipes..... its an interesting read..your tips and advice are great....

thank you for sharing your life....definitely will encourage and help the many out there in similar situations.

i have already printed a few of your recipes to keep in my kitchen.....

take care . from Sue N ( another happy woman who has a gentleman as a partner)

Lorraine

Friday 23rd of July 2021

Thank you so much Sue:-)

Charmaine Moodley

Saturday 27th of February 2021

Hi Lorraine Thanks for sharing your story, I can relate to it since I've lived thru abuse for 14 years but thank God I've finally found someone that treats me like I deserve to be treated. Your story will inspire other women's who have lived thru that abuse, I'm enjoying your recipes, keep up the great work!!!

Lorraine

Wednesday 3rd of March 2021

Thank you so much Charmaine. I think so many woman are too afraid to share their story because we are judged so easily. I am so happy to hear that you've walked away from abuse and you are treated well. I wish you all the best and loads of happiness. Take Care:-)

Michelle

Monday 18th of January 2021

Wow! you are incredible.

I found your site while looking for a mince curry recipe …. well.... I ended up here, on this post :D

I love the way you write, you connect and story tell so well, its almost as if its being told to me, instead of me simply reading.

I'm siting at work, a little happier in knowing through the darkness you found light - a lot of women never see happiness.

Thank you, for your recopies and your personality.

God Bless you & your family

Lorraine

Wednesday 20th of January 2021

Thank you so much Michelle. I appreciate your kind words, it means a lot because writing is a challenge for me. Take Care and Stay Safe:-)

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