How Fate Brought Us Together

How Fate Brought Us Together

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My hubby and I just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. We don’t have a perfect marriage and I am not going to scream out to the world about how perfect everything is. I don’t think there is such a thing as a perfect marriage.

However, we are happy. We have our usual ups and downs and with a blended family it is that much more difficult to keep things in order all the time. One thing I am certain about is that I trust my hubby implicitly, this is something I never had before.  When go through a whole lot of trials in life you learn to appreciate all the little things. The things that truly matter.

I must admit I am not a materialistic person, happiness means more to me than any amount of diamonds in the world. Our anniversary was special just knowing that I have a man that’s committed to me and our family and I have his unwavering support. 

How time flies by, we’ve been married for 13 years. Seems like it was just yesterday that we tied the knot. I have to share our little story. Before I met him I never believed that much in fate. But I am now convinced. So often we wonder if fate really plays a role in bringing people together, I can tell you for sure it is definitely that, fate! 

When I first started my blog I wanted to share my life’s journey (I believe there are so many women that need a little inspiration) together with my favorite recipes but it all became too much. I am no Saint but if I can give someone somewhere a little hope that’s enough for me.

I decided to stick to food, I know some of you will agree as not everyone wants to listen to my stories…haha! I am also introducing my hubby to you today. His first picture on my blog, don’t think he’s going to be too chuffed. What he doesn’t know can’t hurt, can it…haha!

As a young lady I was somewhat of a rebel, I defied everything my dad said. I felt he was far too overprotective so I always did the opposite of what he wanted me to do. The joys of having kids…Lol! I know all about it now that I am a mom. So I decided to get married at the age of 19. I thought it was love but clearly I was wrong. It was not a great marriage and I was also physically abused.

Whilst I was still married to my abusive partner I worked in Corporate. One day I decided I needed a change so I applied for a new job and so did my current husband. He studied law and didn’t want to practice so he decided to also apply for a job at the same company. The irony was that we started work together on the same day and were introduced to all our collegues together. Little did I know that this same man was going to be my husband one day.

I have a vivid memory of seeing him the first time and thinking “he really has no dress sense” and he looked somewhat nerdy. As I got to know him over the years I realised it wasn’t at all about his dress sense. It was all about the personality, the kindness, the respect, being humble and caring.

When I started my new job I wasn’t given a warm welcome by my female colleagues, apparently I looked like a snob. God knows how they came to that conclusion. If you’re Indian you would know we are the most judgemental people on the planet. Don’t shoot me for this, but we know it’s the truth…Lol! So I was left with no choice but to befriend my 3 male colleagues and we became best of friends. My hubby was part of that clique too. He became my best friend and confidante as we shared the same office and he was easy to talk to. 

After years of abuse I one day found the courage to walk away. Trust me I tried many times during the 10 years but walking away is not as easy as people think it is. Only a person subjected to an abusive relationship would know just how challenging it is to walk away.

I saw an astrologer after my divorce (I’m just curious like that) and he told me I was going to marry a work colleague, only I didn’t know that it was going to become a reality or who it was going to be.  I honestly thought it was a lie and I assumed if it was the truth there was definitely some new hunk that was going to be recruited…Lol!

A year after my divorce my best friend asked me out on a date. Wasn’t something I expected and I had no interest in him whatsoever. However, I trusted him and I knew the kind of character he was. So I agreed. As they say the rest is history. Five years later we got married, after loads of trials and tribulations. Loads of judgement from my Indian work colleagues. Because as Indians we judge. A divorcee is not allowed to marry a single, eligible bachelor because she’s just not good enough. I was called lots of names and probably cursed a lot. But I survived it all.

All I can say is that no matter how much people judge do what’s best for you. We are proof that our relationship has survived against all odds. One post is not enough, I could write a book. So if you ever wonder if fate plays a role in our lives, that’s a definite YES.

I know so many women write to me telling me that I give them hope when they read my little posts on Facebook and Instagram. They are hopeful that their lives too will improve after their struggles. I do believe it will, I am proof of that!

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This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Hi Lorraine. I love using your recipes but this post was the best for me. I loved reading about your life as it was so relatable. I too have been in a physical and emotionally abusive relationship at a young age for 5 years. It was the hardest thing ever to let go and I tried several times to leave. He made promises to change but he never did. One day I just woke up and decided that I never want to feel this way again and that I’m never going to let someone put me down and disrespect me again because I’m worth so much more and so I walked away. My parents got divorced when I was a child and I never want to suffer the way my mum did or have my future kids grow up in a broken home. I want a happy home and for my kids to feel the love and support between their parents. I know I’m deserving of respect and peace and love and a relationship isn’t supposed to be so toxic. I also made a ‘friend’ along the way who knew about my relationship issues and he made me believe in myself again. And what my ex wasn’t willing to do in 5 years, this friend did in only a few months. We’re still in the early stages and who knows what the future holds but he’s a sweet, gentle and peaceful soul that’s always looking out for me and constantly trying to improve himself for me and make me believe in myself. He’s constantly encouraging me to achieve great things and make me see my worth and that helped me move on from this abusive relationship. My ex only had wealth to offer me and he thought that would be enough for me, but I too am not materialistic. I’d rather be with someone that isn’t wealthy but makes me feel as if I have all the riches in the world because of the love, care and support that he has to offer me. I’m still in the healing stages but I have faith in what the future holds and I’m happy to know that there are great men like your husband out there.

    I wish you and your husband many more years of love and happiness.

    1. Lorraine

      Thank you so much for your message! I wish you the best with your new life. I am positive that everything will work out for the best and you will once again be happy and receive the respect and love you’re worthy of. Good luck:-)

  2. Charmaine Reddy

    Dear Lorraine, when one shares their life experiences it encourages other women to believe in themselves. Thank you for sharing this and your absolutely wonderful recipes. I came across your page whilst looking for a chillie bite recipe and am so glad I stopped to take a peak. Keep on sharing 🙂

    1. Lorraine

      Thank you Charmaine. I totally agree with you. My posts are meant to give other women a glimpse of hope. Take care and thanks for taking the time to message me:-)

  3. Michelle

    Wow! you are incredible.

    I found your site while looking for a mince curry recipe …. well…. I ended up here, on this post 😀

    I love the way you write, you connect and story tell so well, its almost as if its being told to me, instead of me simply reading.

    I’m siting at work, a little happier in knowing through the darkness you found light – a lot of women never see happiness.

    Thank you, for your recopies and your personality.

    God Bless you & your family

    1. Lorraine

      Thank you so much Michelle. I appreciate your kind words, it means a lot because writing is a challenge for me. Take Care and Stay Safe:-)

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